I mean…like a REALLY bad one? One where it starts out already so far left of center that you can’t imagine it getting worse… Then it does… A few more times? If your answer is “yes”…maybe we can meet up, split a plate of bacon wrapped mozzarella sticks and swap a few stories sometime…cause 2024 can not be over soon enough for this guy.

/sigh… I shouldn’t really complain. There were aspects of 2024 that needed to happen and will likely be very beneficial for my future…eventually. That being said, it seemed like for every positive thing that happened, there was at least one shitacular thing that blossomed beside it. Then the two of them, arm-in-arm, would skip down my own yellow bricked “road to hell” making a point to call out all the good intentions they found along the way…as I stared on in disbelief. (Ooo…lookie. A “Wicked” reference… 🙄)

It’s not even worth listing all the events…because without a whole bunch of context, it’ll just seem like I’m bitching to bitch. A few things would be self explanatory like losing my job, being sued…and filing for divorce, but to fully drive home the exact impact of each…would be akin to writing a novel. I’m also not completely sure I understand the full impact of each event yet…so explaining them accurately to you all…might even be impossible.

So, I think I’ll just dig into one of the items a bit…since it’s, by far, the worst of the 2024 events…and that’s my divorce. It’s kind of a thing most people know enough about to understand that if a person’s gone through one…they probably aren’t having a fun time. Basically…a common frame of reference without needing too much setup.

tbd…

– JnR Laird of Dunan’s Castle

Look…I'm a New Englander. Well, not a native one…but I feel like after having lived in New Hampshire for for 27+ years, the whole New England vibe suits me. It's gray and cold more than half the year and everyone's personality pretty much reflects that reality. I like it. I identify with it…and my relationship with the sun is akin to that of a vampire’s. In other words, I wear my vitamin D deficiency like a badge of honor.

Then, something changed. I moved to Florida a year ago. Suddenly there was no escaping that angry, fiery ball in the sky. I had to adjust my notion of a comfortable level of humidity almost immediately. I bought stock in a sunscreen company and started to collect a bunch of clothes that were intentionally missing pant legs and shirt sleeves. Island Justin was born…

So, when my wife suggested that we vacation in Hawaii this summer…the idea didn’t immediately seem foreign to me. It actually sounded…pleasant. So, I broke out my sandals, packed my water wings and off to Hawaii we went!

Rather than bore you with a bunch of vacation tails of joy and happiness, I will do what I do best and give you a bulleted list of the things I learned while taking this vacation!

• Airlines do not care no matter how logical your argument is.
• Renting a Tesla is cool but spending 25% of your vacation trying to find a way to charge it…is not.
• “Sleeping policemen” are everywhere.
• Hawaii is disgustingly beautiful.
• Sea turtles are dicks.
• Do not rely on Google Maps to teach you how to pronounce Hawaiian words. You will be made fun of. You have been warned.
• Hawaii is where the phrase “sunny with a breeze” was born.
• A friendly smile and a wave is about as close as you’ll get to a Hawaiian honking their car horn.
• I like dancing with my wife…a lot
• Pro tip: Waterfalls are more elusive than you think. Some are even hidden behind extreme amounts of nature. Bug spray is your friend.
• Pack less electronics. Hawaii has enough entertainment.
• Plan for more than 1 day at Pearl Harbor. I could have seriously spent a whole day just on the USS Missouri.
• The sign may say they have penguins…but the sign lies.
• Hemingway daiquiris are delicious.
• Not all luaus are created equal. Just ask the Samoans.
• “Island time” is real. Everyone there is on it. Verify closing times often.
• I am not fun to travel with. Seriously. Even I noticed.

Well, I hope you found this information illuminating and potentially useful if you decide to visit our island neighbors in the Pacific. I do think I’ll be going back sometime in the future as there are a million things I didn’t get to do (I’m looking at you Byodo-In Temple).

Till next time! LLAP

-JnR Laird of Dunans Castle

There are so few of those things left these days, though. Mysteries, I mean... Especially in the age of knowledge-crammed, interconnected instantaneousness the Internet provides. I both love and hate it.

Anyway, this will be my little patch of grass in that disillusioned space. I'll be throwing up random thoughts and information here from time-to-time so feel free to check back!

- JnR Laird of Dunans Castle

You must be thinking...”that title can't be real, can it? I've know this Justin guy for a while now and I don't remember him EVER saying anything about this”. Well...be prepared to have your mind blown! Not only is the title legit, it was awared to me on December 27th, 2014. Yes'em...that's right. You've been in the presence of Scottish royalty this WHOLE time and never knew it.

Now, no need to curtsy or genuflect the next time we meet. I'm a modest sovereign and would never seek such adulation. I do have standards, however... I can't very well be seen consorting with folks below my enlightened station. What would all the other Lords, Lairds and Ladies think?!? No no...we can't have that.

I mean, not just anyone can walk into a gift shop in Glendaruel, pick up a decorative title souvenir for 39 British pounds, register the code printed on the box at ScottishLaird.co.uk and then walk around from that day forward like a pompous arse-hat spouting that he's a fancy landowner because he bought a 1 sq. ft. plot surrounded by a cow pasture in front of a crumbling ruin of a mock castle from the 1500's now can they?!?

Certainly not...

Well, I've given you much to think about. Till next time, LLAP!

What? Oh…. You’ve never seen LLAP before? Well, I know I was just criticizing the Internet for being too useful earlier…but feel free to Google it. It should be the first thing the comes up. I’ll wait…

…

Wait…that’s not right. What the heck is the Terran Orbital Corporation? How can that be the first thing that shows up when you Google “LLAP”?!? In what universe does THAT make any sense? Ok…ok…I give up. The Internet has failed me. It means “Live Long and Prosper”.

Geesh… Spock is rolling over in his grave right now…

September, 2008 thru September, 2014